Prepared

Two Sundays ago, Lance had a meeting with our Stake President. We didn't think much of it - we just assumed he was going to be released from his calling. When he came walking toward me after his meeting, his face ashen and sweaty, I became a little worried. We were both shocked to find out he had been called to be a counselor in our ward's bishopric. (The best way to describe that is a volunteer associate pastor over a congregation.) NOT what we were expecting at all especially since Lance is relatively young and there are so many qualified and righteous men in our ward.

I find it hard to describe how we have felt over these past few weeks. Humbled. A little nervous. Honored that the Lord has that kind of trust in Lance. This calling is a much bigger responsibility than his previous one and will require more of Lance's time, including more time away from our family.

More than anything, I am amazed at the Lord's hand in our lives. As we talked about his new calling and what it would mean for our family, I could not deny how the Lord has prepared our family, and specifically me, for this. Like in March when I was prompted to stop working. Or when we decided that we needed to really work on our family's spirituality in June - making sure Lance came home every Monday for FHE and that we read scriptures and prayed together every single day as a family without fail. Or when I decided just this month I really needed to eliminate unnecessary distractions in my life so I could be a better mother to my children. Or how just this month I have, after five years of my husband working, come to peace with the demanding schedule a lawyer must keep.

This is just another confirmation on how the Lord is all knowing and will never forget us. He knows us and what we will need. Whom He calls, He prepares. What a sacred and beautiful experience this has been for our family.

Now for me to survive sacrament meetings (our worship service) alone in the pew with my kids. I must publicly apologize now to our ward members. It may not be pretty but most likely entertaining.

Eleven at Eleven

Our baby will be a year in two weeks.  TWO WEEKS.  Where did the time go?  I have been putting off this post because writing 11 things that are unique to him this month was a little overwhelming, especially with the changes that happened in our family these past two weeks (post on that to follow).  I figure these pictures I took on his 11 month birthday speak volumes.  These pictures were all taken in about a minute.

Here are eleven things that give you insight into our Carsten:

1.  Busy, busy, busy.
2.  Obsessed with the toilet.  All water for that matter.
3.  Vocal.  VERY vocal. (especially if he doesn't get what he wants.)
4.  Dog tormentor and impersonator.
5.  Very well adept in hair-pulling.  Oh, sibling rivalry begins early.
6.  Obedient.  An eleven month old who listens when you tell him no?  Unbelievable!
7.  Over baby food.  Bring on the steak!
8.  Contagious laugh.
9.  Speedy crawler, beginning to stand on his own.  Take your time, buddy.  Walking can wait a few months.
10.  Gives open mouth kisses and real, bona-fide, arms-encircling hugs.
11.  Seeks out danger still.  On a daily basis.

Still completely smitten and adoring of this boy.  Can't even remember what life was like before him.

Sometimes it just hits you hard

I was searching through some of my fashionable friends' blogs last night, trying to get ideas for our Christmas cards this year (Lame, right?). One such blog had numerous posts about the blogger's mother. Posts of how special this mother was to her grandchildren. How this mother took girl's weekend trips with her daughters. How she is so much a part of her grown daughter's everyday life. What started as a exciting evening of clothes- browsing ended with me in tears.

I really miss this woman.



I miss her spunkiness. I miss her long-winded phone conversations. I miss knowing that she would always be on the other end of the phone if I needed to talk. I miss her giving heart. I miss her soft hugs and contagious laughter. I miss her arguing with me. Boy, did she ever argue with me.

I then think of this girl.

And how we are reading this together just like my mom read it with me.


How I can't wait for her to be old enough to watch this with me just like I did with my mom.



How she crawls into bed with me early each morning just like I did with my mom. How she says her favorite thing to do with me is make dinner just like how I loved to bake with my mom.

And the tears keep coming.

Along with the resolve that I am going to do everything in my power to stay healthy so I can grow old and be a grandmother to her children. I want Elisabeth to be able to call me up and say "Mom! I need your advice. . . ." and I will be there to give it and to tell her I love her.

Motivation

I was thinking I was doing pretty good with my weight loss and was looking good. In fact, I had a dream last night I went to this store and bought a sexy black pencil skirt as a "reward" for being so good with my exercising and weight loss.  (Tangent:  Not that dream will come a reality anytime soon as I can't spend that much money on a skirt but it was a pleasant dream nonetheless.)

Then I looked at some pictures that were taken of me over the last month and I changed my mind.  I still have a ways to go. 

I am not discounting the fact that I have worked hard to lose 10% of my body weight these last 11 months AND I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I also believe in the campaign of beauty - that all types of body shapes are beautiful.  I am a mother of two babies and will never be pencil thin.   My Nordic body is not built that way.  I also LOVE to eat.  I don't want to live a deprived life and want to be able to enjoy really good, tasty foods that I love most from time to time.

But I do know that I can still bridle my eating habits (eating a whole lb of Peanut Butter M&Ms is NOT exactly healthy) and make a more concerted effort to exercise on a regular basis.  I want to be healthy and have a healthy BMI and more importantly,  I want my children to form good eating habits and embrace an active lifestyle.

Nothing like seeing a documented picture of oneself to springboard yourself into 100% committment.  I even gave my beloved peanut butter M & Ms that I used as an object lesson in Primary yesterday to a friend.

Patting myself on the back right now.

Withdrawals

Proof that social media has become an addiction for me. I decided Wed. I was going to take a two week hiatus from Facebook. In the last three days I have discovered the following about myself:

• I have not made it one day without "secretly" logging into Facebook to see what is going on. I don't post or respond to other's postings so I am not really there, right?
• I am DYING that I can't post to everyone that I scored at the Children's Orchard used costume sale, that we can stream BYU football games through the Internet for FREE, and that I had a fun double date eating Bundt cakes and losing at Hand and Foot with our friends Mara and Kurt. Because you all really want to know, right????
• I feel a little isolated not knowing everyone's business.

Do they have Web 2.0 Addiction Anonymous? Because I need to join!

Ok. Tomorrow is a new day. Let's see if I can discipline myself.

Mothers Who Know

Copyright Beatta Bosworth

I received an inspiring "back to school" email from a friend tonight addressed to fellow mothers who would be sending their kids off to school tomorrow. It got me to thinking about this talk by Julie B. Beck - one of the leaders in my church. I remember vividly being only two months or so pregnant with Elisabeth and being brought to tears when I heard this talk. This is the mother I wanted to be to my little miracle baby growing inside of me.

I re-read it again tonight and promptly re-evaluated my life. The part that stood most out to me was "Mothers who know do less. . . They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. . .These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all."

I thought of how much time I spend every week doing things that take me away from my children and may be considered distractions: Checking Facebook, reading blogs, reading books, watching movies. Smart phones make being connected so easy. Not that any of these things are bad but I wonder how much time I allow them to take up in my life.

I am going to take a temporary hiatus from Facebook and also make an concerted effort to put my phone up whenever I am with my children. I am sure I will return . . . Just after I figure out how to be on a social network without it becoming too much a part of my life. I want to be a mother who "stand[s] strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord" and does not miss out on important teaching moments in my children's lives. I want to choose carefully and try not to choose it all.

Post Script:
After posting this message I found the following articles online that may also be interesting reading:
Distracted Parenting - CNN
The New Distracted Parenting - The Huffington Post