Friday, June 13, 2014

From one mother to another

To the moms who were publically criticizing me in Target today:

You know who you are. The two who were scoffing at me as I was trying to deal with the biggest melt down in discount store history.  The ones who commented how you never have seen kids misbehave so badly or how you would have NEVER responded the way I did as I was standing at the end of your aisle. With your older kids standing and observing nonetheless.  The ones that I curtly asked "Do you really not have any compassion for a fellow mother who was obviously struggling at the moment?" before I started sobbing and then dragged my screaming son and baby out of the store, leaving my full cart of unpurchased merchandise at the front of the store.

I just am floored by your rudeness. And lack of understanding and support.  Maybe my child is the worst behaved preschooler that ever entered a store.  And there is no "maybe" about it -  it is a proven fact I am less than perfect with my mothering skills.  But aren't we all?  Isn't parenting one of the most difficult things you have ever done?  Haven't you ever had a moment of pure desperation when you have no idea what to do?  Aren't we all just trying our best? Didn't you have terrible, horrible, no good days?    Aren't all of our kids learning and growing and making mistakes?  Didn't you realize you make mistakes all the time?

There are many things I want to say (lots more telling off and scolding) but the most important is this:  Let's, as mothers, stop criticizing and start supporting each other.  Let's not under estimate how a compassionate glance can ease each other's burdons or a kind comment can ease the heart of a stressed mother in a difficult situation.  Let's keep negative comments and criticism to ourselves.  Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt.  Let's whisper a prayer for each other for strength.  Let's never forget we are all part of the same club, trying our best to love and raise our children.

Please.  I beg of you.  We all could use more helping hands and understanding allies as we strive to do the most important job.  I think teaching our children through our own actions to be compassionate will do more for them in their lives than how we deal with tantrums in Public places.

Thank you,
A frazzled mother just doing the best she can

Picture of Carsten and I after he "worked" out with me this morning.  A sweet moment before the craziness of Target unfolded.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Dear Girl

This 6 year old left her Cinderella doll in a hotel room in Florida by accident.  The hotel graciously sent it to us and she waited every day, checking the mailbox frequently for its arrival. She has not let it out of her sight since it arrived.

Parenting my children is tough. So incredibly hard and overwhelming to me. The thought of having to mold them into good people, raise them in a house of faith, help to stamp out bad behaviors, and just take care of their everyday needs is all consuming.  I never feel adequate enough.  

But then there are these moments, like tonight, when she lays out her dress for her kindergarten program, helps her brother get his jammies on, and makes a bed for her doll and my heart just melts.   I wish I could burn this night into her memory.  Of her helpfulness, pure innocence, and genuine excitement to perform for us and please her teacher - all reflections of the dear girl she is inside.  So she could know, despite my weaknesses, how much I love her and wish that these weaknesses weren't there.  And more importantly, have her realize that her heart is her best part of her.  Nothing else in this world matters to me - not her grades in school, how well she plays sports, nor  her musical talent. It's the sweet girl she is and her desire to follow God.

I purposely am keeping her little as long as I can.