Sometimes it just hits you hard

I was searching through some of my fashionable friends' blogs last night, trying to get ideas for our Christmas cards this year (Lame, right?). One such blog had numerous posts about the blogger's mother. Posts of how special this mother was to her grandchildren. How this mother took girl's weekend trips with her daughters. How she is so much a part of her grown daughter's everyday life. What started as a exciting evening of clothes- browsing ended with me in tears.

I really miss this woman.



I miss her spunkiness. I miss her long-winded phone conversations. I miss knowing that she would always be on the other end of the phone if I needed to talk. I miss her giving heart. I miss her soft hugs and contagious laughter. I miss her arguing with me. Boy, did she ever argue with me.

I then think of this girl.

And how we are reading this together just like my mom read it with me.


How I can't wait for her to be old enough to watch this with me just like I did with my mom.



How she crawls into bed with me early each morning just like I did with my mom. How she says her favorite thing to do with me is make dinner just like how I loved to bake with my mom.

And the tears keep coming.

Along with the resolve that I am going to do everything in my power to stay healthy so I can grow old and be a grandmother to her children. I want Elisabeth to be able to call me up and say "Mom! I need your advice. . . ." and I will be there to give it and to tell her I love her.