Pioneer of my own right

I heard some great news from a close friend that she was expecting today soon after a miscarriage. At first my heart rejoiced. Then the sadness crept up a little into my soul and mulled in my mind all evening. Despite knowing without a doubt that God in in charge of my life and having a peace that all will be well, I can't seem to diminish the lump in my throat.

Babies, in all their innocent, sweet-smelling skin and chubby goodness, always tend to remind me of the things missing in my life. fertility. my own mother. family near by. Whenever someone has a baby or I hold I newborn, I become a little melancholy and forlorn.

But they also make me feel grateful for the traits these missing things have cultured within me: Patience, faith, friendship, perseverance, empathy, peace, and wisdom.

Our church has a rich heritage of pioneers who went through every physical, mental and spiritual trial a person could ever wish to see in their lifetime and came out courageous and inspiring. I have heard people say all the time "I could have never been a pioneer."

I honestly feel I could have. Prideful or not, I feel like I was blessed with a strong soul to endure pain and suffering, and come out hopeful. I am a pioneer in my own right. And I know I am destined to truly make the world a better place and comfort those in need of comfort. These joys missing in my life have molded me into who I am. The Savior is a masterful sculptor.

I am imperfect. As a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a woman. But I am growing and honestly really like who I am becoming. Now to work on meekness and humility. . .

Sisters' Weekend

We decided to start a new tradition in Lance's family. Since we have been averaging a family reunion every three years, Lance came up with the idea of having a three year rotation:

Year 1: A family reunion with everyone
Year 2: Sisters' Weekend where just the ladies (no kids or husbands) get together to bond and spend time together doing girly things.
Year 3: A Brothers' Weekend where the boys get together to do manly things like eat pizza, have crazy adventures and play strategy games.

As we all having growing families and live all over the U.S. and Canada, this would give us opportunities to spend more time with each other without having to go bankrupt trying to travel every year with our bazillion kids.

This past weekend was our first attempt at Sisters' Weekend. Though two of the sisters did not attend, I think everyone can agree it was absolutely wonderful. I hosted it this year in Dana Point, CA. The last four days have consisted of:

Sunset dinners on the beach.

A little froyo at Yogurtland.

Lots of talking, giggling, confiding, and edifying late into the night.

Is Kara not absolutely beautiful in this picture?

Sea Kayaking in the Ocean . . .

(No one drowned, got eaten by a shark and the only casualty was the sunburned legs and one victim of sea sickness. As you can tell in this picture, we all absolutely loved every minute of it.)

Britnee, me, Kara, Wendy and Lisa.
Want to be inspired to lose more weight? Hang out with these skinny, beautiful women all weekend!

Dinner at a quaint French restaurant in Laguna Beach with live music.

Spa Treatments

(Thanks to an AWESOME Groupon Deal!)

Jewelry making, pool swimming, game playing, breakfast making, clothes shopping and much, much more.

I feel much closer to my sisters-in-law and loved having a chance to just enjoy each other's company. Can't wait to do this again in three years!

The sunset at Strand Beach, right next to where we were staying.

One word to sum up the weekend? Beautiful.

Just the two of us

My bubba and I left the kiddos for three days, two nights to take a trip to Seattle to see my all-time favorite companion, Wheeler, take the plunge and enter into marital bliss.  Wanna know what?  I loved every minute of it and I missed my kids for maybe about an hour the whole time we were gone.  I knew they were in good hands and enjoying themselves.  Carsten was being showered with love from my friend Rachel and her husband Ted - the newly weds, and Elisabeth was having sleepovers at her bestie's home.


More than anything, Lance and I felt like we were 10 years younger, on our honeymoon together.  We slept in, went swimming at the pool at 11 pm at night, ate spectacular crab on Puget Sound, bought some Finnish goods and chatted with a Finnish woman in Finnish, went sightseeing, and just enjoyed each other's company without having to push a stroller through a crowded Pike's Market or be a slave to our kids' nap schedule.  In fact, we laughed all weekend at how easy it is to travel without children and wished we would have done more before EB and Little Man joined our family.

Don't get me wrong.  I love my children. Being a parent is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.  But I also love my husband.

Lesson learned:  Couples need to take time to remember why they fell in love.  Couples need time to strengthen their relationship and enjoy each other's company without their kids there.  A strong marriage makes a strong family.  As I am not one to hold back my opinions in life I will say this:  I think every couple should have at least a weekend away from their kids every year.  Not only is it good for the parents, it is good for the children on many levels.  My children have become quite adaptable in life (whether this is nature or nurture may be debatable. . .though I attribute it to nurture) and have learned that they are safe and loved by many family and friends.  

And parents always come back.  Hopefully more rested and in love than when they left.

Nine at Nine

Nine months is a wonderful age for this boy.  What I am saying?  Every month is a wonderful age for him.  Here were his stats at his last check-up:

9 month photo with his bear

Weight:  20 lbs, 3 oz (45th percentile)
Height: 28 1/2 inches (60th percentile)
Head Circ.:  17 3/4 inches (45th percentile)

He has really chunked up these last two months, providing a tasty little neck to smooch and chunky thighs to squeeze.  He only started wearing 6-9 month clothes a month ago and he is just about grown out of that size in 6 weeks.  Here is how else he has changed:


1.  Pass the peas please.  And the watermelon, the cereal, and whatever else that you have for me to eat.  He likes to especially steal french fries.  Sometime between 7 months and 9 months, Carsten has decided he LOVES to eat.  And eat.  And eat.

Watermelon season.  His favorite.

Don't mind if I do.  (Stealing french fries off of someone's plate while we were on vacation.)

2.  Movin' and Groovin'.  Carsten is a crawler, though he prefers to do the army crawl.  He hates to be held for extended periods of time unless he is sleepy and wants to snuggle.  He is close to pulling himself up.

Look at me!  I am crawling!  (And you obviously haven't childproofed yet, Mommy!)

3.  Throwing caution to the wind.  Electric cords?  Good teethers.  The beagle's tail?  A tasty snack.  The stairs?  A good place to crawl down.  Now that he is mobile, Carsten has a crazy sense of adventure.  Does anyone want to explain to me why, if my little boy has access to lots of toys and open floor space, is it that he always heads for the dangerous stuff?

Loves when his dad carries him around this way.

4.  Little voice.  Our little man has discovered he has a voice.  And he isn't afraid to use it.  Between his growls, raspberries, high pitched screams and the crooning he does in the car to the music we are listening too, we have affectionately started to call him "Lil' Pterodactyl."  He calls me "Mama" and has said "Papa" once or twice.

5. The charmer.  He still has a way with women.  He still openly flirts with any female that will look his way and he will often stare down any woman who isn't looking his way, in hopes she will give him a smile and the attention he deserves.

How can the ladies resist this?  I know I can't! 

6.  Self-entertaining.  I have been blessed with children who are good at self-entertaining.  Carsten has just discovered the joy of toys.  Mainly, he likes to empty toy boxes, throw balls and crawl after them and empty out our DVD shelves.  He can entertain himself for long periods of time and does so with a huge grin on his face and squeals of delight.

Emptying out the DVDs.  Again.  For about the 5th time that day.

7.  His sissy.  He loves his sissy and is happiest when he is in her presence.  He also loves to play with her things, much to her dismay.  However, despite how protective she can be about her toys, she takes the responsibility of "teaching" him how to play seriously and he eats up every bit of attention she will give him.

Playing together. 

8.  Water baby.  This boy LOVES to swim and about propels himself out of my lap and into the bathtub the moment I turn on the water.  Good thing we live in a climate that allows you to swim almost year round.

Bath time for baby.

9.  Practically perfect in every way.  He is still the happy-go-lucky, lovable, baby who will is ticklish beyond measure and lights up the room whenever he enters.  His patience is never-ending and his soul as tender as ever.

On a side note...I really need a better camera.  Any suggestions????

Calm Before the Storm

I have been feeling so incredibly blessed and joyful lately.  I love my dear sweet babies - the all-boy one who just learned how to crawl and growl like a bear and the talkative princess who keeps me in stitches.  I love my kind husband who does things like create playlists for me to listen to when I run.  I love my calling at church to work with the children.  I love that summer is here and we can spend every day at the pool if we wanted to.  I love that I have figured out how to stay on top of my laundry.  I love the stage of life I am in with little ones at home.

I think a lot of this calmness and joy comes from the fact that we have been diligently reading the Book of Mormon every day with our family after receiving a challenge from our Bishop of our ward (congregation) to do so.  The spirit in our home is undeniable.  And honestly, I recognize we have been blessed beyond measure in our lives.  God is good.

However, there is a part of me that wonders what trials are waiting for us in the wings.  I mean after all we have gone through in the nine years we have been married, (death of parent, illness, infertility, loss of babies, stressful school situations, being far away from family) it seems only logical that we will have to face more hard things and that this bliss is only temporarily.

Like a calm before the storm.  

I'll take it, for however it lasts.  Praying that my memory of this time will be a sweet reminder to sustain me in whatever comes our way in the future.

Terrific Threes

copyright Beatta Bosworth

The other day Elisabeth bounded into the kitchen, donned in her Tinkerbell costume with a matching green elastic in her ponytail on top of her head (that she insisted I put in so she could look just like Tinkerbell), wearing her glass slippers and said "Mama?  We need to go to the store and buy some pixie dust.  I need it to fly."

That is our 3 year old.  Imaginative, energetic, and girl, inside and out.

Here are some interesting facts about our Elibear who turned three in May:

• Princess Conesiour - Disney had her in mind when they decided on their marketing plan.  She knows all of the princesses, their attire and can sing each of their signature songs on cue.  Funny thing is she has only ever watched Tangled, Princess and the Frog & Cinderella.  All of the other princess movies scare her (including Tangled AND Princess and the Frog)
• Tiara - she never leaves home without it.  Because a real princess can't go into public without her crown, right?
• Safety First - She is very concerned with our safety.  She gets upset if we turn on the car and we don't have our seat belts on.  I can't count the number of times I have heard "Mama!  Put on your seat belt!"
• Sense of Humor - Whether purposely or not, she is quite hilarious.
• Make New Friends - She makes friends wherever we go.  In fact, whenever we go to the park and there are kids there she will exclaim "Mama!  My friends are here!"  
• Fearless. . .at least about some things. - On Memorial Day, she decided she wanted to jump off the diving board even though she can't swim.  And she has been begging her Dad to take her on the roller coaster.
• Stubborn as all get out.  No other explanation needed on that one.
• Loves to sing, read and dance.  Anywhere, anytime.  

As difficult as it has been to raise this emotional, intense little girl, her kisses, hugs, excitement for life, and love she shows to her "Sofi Dog" and "Baby Prince" (a.k.a. her baby brother) make it all worth it.  Besides, she reminds me a lot of myself.  

Love our little girl!

copyright Beatta Bosworth

For your video viewing pleasure:

Daddy's Girl

Elisabeth gave a new meaning to the phrase "Daddy's Girl" tonight.  Our bedtime conversation went something like this:

EB:  Mama, I want to call Papa and ask him someting.
Me:  Ok.
(We call Lance who is still working.)
Me:  Papa, Elisabeth has something she wants to ask you.
EB:  Papa, I want you to come marry me?
L:  What did she just say?
Me:  She just proposed.
(Both adults laugh.)
L:  Honey, that is sweet but you can't marry me.  I already married your Mama.
EB:  Nooooo!
Me:  Papa, tell her who your princess is.
L:  Mama is my princess.
EB:  Hysterical crying, sobbing, jumping up and down for at least 20 minutes.


When Lance got home two hours after her bed time, she called for him to come to her as soon as she heard the front door open.  After he tucked her in she said with much force and confidence:

"Papa, Mama isn't your princess.  I am your princess."

 I am thrilled our little girl looks up to her father and loves him this much. (Even if it means she scolds me anytime she senses I am not so happy with him.)  I hope this strong bond will still be there (though changed from wanting to marry him to just loving him as her father) when she is a teenager, a young adult and even when she is grown, married to her own prince and has children of her own.