Relief.

I am officially done with the MSIDT program at Cal State Fullerton and in a week from Saturday, I will have a Masters of Science degree in Instructional Design and Technology.

Relief.  That is the only word I can find to describe how we ALL feel in this house.  RELIEF.

Now, let the celebrating begin.

(Elisabeth reading my Dreamweaver book.  Besides having an absentee mom, she got to learn about website design these past few months.)

It'll All Be Over Soon

Ever see Titanic?  If you did, remember the line a panicked mom whispers to her toddler as she stands on the deck as the ship is about to sink into the ocean?

"It'll all be over soon."

That is what I keep telling myself every day, feeling something a little similar to what the mother meant.  No, I am NOT dying. Nor do I mean to compare graduate school to a tragic death.  But it is painful.  And somewhat of a nightmare.  It is more overwhelming than I can imagine. And so stressful that I can't wait to see the end of it.

29 days until my grad project must be completed and brought to the bindery at CSFU. 29 days until I am done with post-bac school forever. 29 days until I can breathe again.  29 days until my home can have some semblance of order and I can stop resorting to having my baby watching Disney movies.  Though I have to admit, Lady in the Tramp is quite a good flick.  Don't you think?

29 days.

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Post script:  I guess I come across as complaining a lot.  Let me just recap the following two weeks so you can understand why my simple task of completing a grad school project has helped turn my life into a nightmare.

• Horrible facial pain over Easter weekend that required constant icing of the face.
• Two hours spent in Urgent Care on Monday, after finding out my regular doc was on vacation.  I was prescribed an antibiotic.
• Facial and tooth pain that got increasingly worse throughout the day on Monday.  Enough that I called my dentist who told me it probably wasn't related to my teeth and more likely my sinuses.
• Awake all night Monday with the worst pain I have ever experienced in life.  Much worse than giving birth.  Enough that I asked Lance to either a) take me to the emergency room or b) knock me out with a bat.  He did not do either, worried it would have a negative effect on my baby.
• Almost passing out from pain while driving to the endodontist Tuesday morning. The Spirit whispered "Pull over now."  I did.  SCARY.
• Receiving a root canal that took THREE hours to complete due to the insane infection in my tooth.
• Finding out it takes 5 visits to the dentist to receive a permanent crown.  FIVE.
• Also discovering I have to get another night guard once my crown is in place. AND my dental insurance has run out for 2010.
• Realizing that my root canal and my crown will cost us $1000.  Good bye post-graduation cruise, my monthly house cleaner, and my babysitter for Elisabeth.  We just can't afford you.
• Recently diagnosed with a UTI and blood pressure that keeps creeping up higher and higher.  Go figure.  My poor pregnant body can not handle all of this stress.  

The good news:  Novocain is God's nectar.  I almost kissed my endodontist when he took all of my pain away.  I started pre-natal yoga up again. Elisabeth is starting to talk in sentences. Lance has taken over doing the dishes. I get to go away for a weekend to scrapbook with my friends in April. Harry Potter #7 is supposed to come out in November. AND only 29 more days.  

I know this is what you all really want to see.  This is Elisabeth helping me make rice crispy treats. She and I have matching aprons.

Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President:

Can you please make sure that you raise federal taxes for all of your new programs you are funding?  And make sure you use our tax money to bail out those affected by the mortgage crisis. Because between what we pay the federal government and what we pay our state, we currently only have to pay about 30% of our annual income to the powers that be.  And really - I don't think that is enough.  I mean, what do we need 30% of our income for?  Maybe so we can someday purchase a house?  But in the time being, please, use our money to pay for someone else's.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Dear Mom, Wishing you were here. . .

Dear Mom,
Wishing you were here. . . Not only just here on Earth again, but here in California and in good health. Wishing you were here to help with the loads of laundry that are overtaking my garage, living room and bedroom.  Wishing you were here to help make dinners on the days I am way too sick to even think of making food.  Wishing you were here to entertain Elisabeth so I could catch up in school.  Wishing you were here so I would have someone to just be a companion on the many nights Lance works late. Wishing you were here to rub my lower back that is just killing me after I pulled some muscles yesterday.  Wishing you were here so I could be less stressed, more rested and actually grateful that I am in graduate school instead of constantly questioning why in the world I am doing this and secretly harboring desires to quit.  But most of all, wishing you were here because I miss you.  Sometimes a girl just needs her mom. 

I know you are shaking your head at me right now.  Rightfully so.  I know I am blessed with great visiting teachers and friends who have offered to take Elisabeth for play dates so I can have more time to get caught up.  I know I am blessed that Lance tries to do a chore every day around the house so we only live in the 90% chaos.  I know I am blessed that Elisabeth loves peanut butter and jelly and that there are healthy options for take-out. I know I am blessed to be pregnant again.  I have much to be thankful for.

However, that doesn't change the fact that I need you and I continually try to envision you here to mother me. 

I love you.

Kristi

Fluffy

Elisabeth this a.m. after searching for something in each of our bathroom drawers: 
"Mama, I "ahnt" fluffy my teef."
Me:  "Huh?  You want to fluffy your teeth?
Elisabeth:  "Uh-huh."
Me inside my head:  "Fluffy?  She wants to fluffy her teeth?" And then it occurred to me.  Fluffy = Floss.
Me to her:  "You want to floss your teeth?"
Elisabeth:  "YES!"

I am so relieved she likes to floss her teeth already.  Maybe it will make our first dentist visit in a few months much more pleasant.

New Spring Duds. . .

To announce a new fall arrival.  Baby Bear #2 estimated to
arrive Oct. 5, 2010.

I had a "rule" that I should wait until my 2nd trimester to announce such things (based on my past losses) but seeing as I am 12 weeks tomorrow, I have had four really good ultrasounds, and most of my clothes are really, really snug, I couldn't keep it a secret any longer.  Besides, I am ready to stop fretting that something may go wrong  (okay, fretting is an understatement.  Try all out sick with irrational worry) and start being excited for yet another blessing in our lives.  Power of positive thinking, right? 

Now, if I can just continue to push through the exhaustion and nausea and finish my graduate project, then I will TRULY have something to celebrate.

Awwwww

Smiling yet? 

 I love this candid shot at my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's wedding reception. Congratulations Ryan and Britnee!!!!  The bride and groom look so in love, my other niece is having a ball with grandpa, and my little princess is dancing the night away with one of her favorite boy cousins in a little red velvet number that she has dubbed her "Arella" dress.  

Moments like these are meant to be remembered.