Monday, February 20, 2012

New type of confidence

I know we are always growing and changing. However, I look back on this last year and realize I am a drastically different person than I was even a year ago.

Here are some of the things that have changed:

1. I am now a runner. For anyone who has known me since high school you will realize how against my nature this is. A flat-footed, short-Achilles tendoned, uncoordinated girl has no business running. Yet I do. Three to four times a week averaging 14 miles a week. I have run two 5Ks and one 10K. I love it. I love the 30 minutes it gives me four times a week to just think and do something completely and solely for myself.

2. I am into fashion. For someone who used to joke that I needed to be nominated for TLC's What Not to Wear and would buy most of my clothes at H & M, TJ Maxx, and Target, this is a shock. I wouldn't say I have good fashion sense. But I do have a few friends who have impeccable taste and I have started to take their shopping advice. I have discovered the beauty of the personal shopper at J.Crew and the thrill of fitting into size 8 at the White House Black Market. I love buying shoes at Nordstroms and for the first time in my life have passed over mary janes and flats for a pair of fashion boots, Sperry top-siders, heels and wedges. I love how I feel in nice clothes and love getting dressed in the new outfits I have. I love wearing clothes that are modest, yet still fitted and attractive. In the words of my friend Tai, I have abandoned my Minnesota Mormon style for California Chic. I think I need to re-read Confessions of a Shopaholic. Though I am not anywhere near addicted to shopping, I think I now understand the heroine in that book better than when I first read it.

3. I have lost 40 lbs and kept it off for four months. I have lost this amount of weight before in the past. The only difference is this is the first time I have kept it off and have done it by just living life - no dieting. Just exercising, watching what I eat most of the time, and enjoying the foods I want to enjoy within reason. #1 explains why I have been able to do this and this probably explains why #2 has become such a big part of my life.

4. I am going to grow my hair out. I haven't had long hair since I was in 1st grade. Something inside of me is aching to abandon my sensible, short conservative hair cut and embrace long, sexy locks - even if it requires me taking time to style it every day.

Overall, I feel a new type confidence within me that is blossoming, different from the confidence I have felt before. I have been a capable person for much of my adult life. I am far from perfect but feel I am well-grounded, hard-working, determined and have a firm conviction in my beliefs. This year I have gained a different kind of confidence - a confidence in my physical self. For the first time since I have gotten married I feel beautiful inside and out. Something about this is wholly satisfying to me.

I have a few friends and my sister-in-law to thank for the inspiration that has led me on this journey. You guys know who you are :-). One of the beauties about relationships is the best ones inspire us to be better.

5 comments:

  1. Congratulations! This is so wonderful! You are incredible!

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  2. You are so cool. :) I struggle with the idea that I'm an adult....I just don't feel it. I have a bit of an inferiority complex. You're an inspiration! Maybe someday, my brain will grow up! :)

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  3. oh that all mothers could metamorphasize (is that a verb??) so gracefully! you have surrendered to motherhood but not been utterly consumed by it...it's so important to keep something for yourself & realize that you are also a very important part of the whole equation. you will always be a better mother, wife, friend, sister, etc. when you make time for yourself. I'm completely impressed by your wise insights! I smell a book...XOXO Nancy

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  4. I love this Kristi! What an inspiration!

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  5. Way to go, sista! Such an inspiring post. And take it from someone who's had varying lengths of hair over the years -- long takes MUCH less time to style than short. (Plus you always have the 'lazy ponytail' option.)

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