It's better to look up.

Last week I was one worship service at my church away from . . . Well, I don't know what. But it wasn't good whatever it was. The two words that were constantly going through my head were "I quit." I quit serving in my calling at church, I quit going to church and sitting alone with my kids, I quit being a wife and a mother whose husband is gone as much as mine. Now - I don't really want to quit any of these things. But, I am smart enough to know something had to change because I couldn't keep doing what I was doing.

A friend came over, prompted or not I do not know, and talked about this talk that was given during General Conference, an bi-annual meeting our church has. The basic message: It is better to look up.

So I did. I got on my knees and prayed. I needed help and it was time to ask. And ask I did. I asked my husband for advice on what to do. I asked a friend from book club to take Carsten during Sunday school so I could teach without having to chase him around. I asked two women with either grown kids or teenagers to see if my family could join them in their pew on Sundays.

This Sunday we sat with a family of two of the kindest adults I have ever known and four of the most helpful teenage boys I have ever met.

My kids were entertained the full hour and a half without one person crying or having to be taken out. I actually was able to listen to the speakers. I was able to teach the kids during Primary (Sunday school for the kiddos) without any anxiety. And I didn't cry.

Well, I didn't cry until I called my friend to thank her for letting me sit with her family. Those were tears of immense gratitude.

I know there are people out there with bigger problems than mine. People are homeless. People are starving. People are losing loved ones. People are sick and dying. I realize someone may read this and say "Really woman? You are wasting my time whining about this?"

Today these things didn't matter, though. My problems are real to me. And, I have a Father in Heaven who heard my pleas, guided me to answers, and reminded me once more that I am His daughter and He loves me. All I had to do was ask.

Things are starting to look up.