This Saturday we volunteered at RESOLVE's Adoption Conference in Pasadena. It was an all day event and we learned a lot about adoption, finding out when to move on from infertility treatments to adoption, birthparents, international and domestic adoption. You name it. Every woman there cried at least one and a few men were moved as well. A wonderful, touching experience.
Attending this conference made me think about our lives and the challenges we face. We have to make very tough choices. Either we adopt or buy a house. Either we save up money to do IVF cycles or we save up money to go on a trip to Hawaii with Lance's family in a few years. We can't do both. We can't afford to do both. I am sometimes very discouraged by these decisions we are forced to make. So many of those around me don't and won't ever have to make this type of sacrifice to have children. (Though I recognize that all women do sacrifice for their children...just not always in this way.) For lack of a better adjective, this just sucks.
After sharing this idea with my friend Jen B. at church today, she said, lovingly.
"Well, what a better thing to spend your money on."
She is right. This way is not always easy, but it will be worth it. So, we will gladly forgo Hawaii in 2011 and buying a home with a yard and save up our money so we can do everything within our power to have a family. Not just one child, but the 6 we always dreamed of having.
We want to adopt domestically and internationally someday. Lance said he would love to have children from the U.S., from Russia or Ukraine or Kryghystan, and Asia. We may end up doing infertility treatments again. And one day, years from now, I will read this post and smile to myself and look at my little family, knowing the hard work, sacrifice, mourning, tears and love that went into finding all those that needed to be a part of our family.
Jen, you are wise beyond your years and a great friend.
Stream of consciousness from a MN-born, SoCal-living, infertility-surviving, beagle-loving, baby-snuggling, Latter-day Saint believing, patent lawyer hubbie-adoring, opinion-sharing, goal-making woman.
Dear Kristi and Lance,
ReplyDeleteOur prayers are with you as you make these important decisions and sacrifices.
Loren
Wow. These are big decisions. But from my own experiences, I'm starting to get my hunches that children are worth every sacrifice. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAnd, yay! You found my blog -- and then I found yours! I was just thinking about you guys the other day, actually. It looks like you are both doing well, which is great to see. :)
You're sweet Kristi. It IS a sacrifice to have kids, and for you, a much more outright financial drain to either adopt or do fertility treatment. Rest assured that the money could never fill that void that you might have - and the Lord gave it to you in the first place. If you make a sacrifice to positively impact the salvation of one of His precious children, He'll pay it back to you one way or another.
ReplyDeleteI am anxious (excited) to see what awaits you right around the corner.
Sorry about that extra "in." Blogs are not editing friendly!!
ReplyDeleteThese are tough decisions to make, but you will be guided in your efforts and in blessed in your worthy desires. We will keep you in our prayers. Amy
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the kind comments. Thank you!!!
ReplyDelete