Healed

For years I had a hard time enjoying other peoples' babies.  I was happy for the new parents.  And I would hold the new babies.  But the pain of everything I had gone through to have babies of my own still lingered, never completely healed in my heart.  There was something in me that just wished that baby could be mine - especially when the baby came so easily to some. I would often leave the presence of the new baby saddened.

Today I visited a good friend in the hospital and held her baby not even a day old.  As I snuggled with that dark, sweet smelling newborn, my heart was overflowing with love.  I was so happy for my friend and wished I could sit there forever holding that baby.  I kept thinking to myself "The best days are days when babies are born."  On my drive home I realized that for the first time in as long as I could remember my heart did not hurt one bit.  I just felt pure happiness and love for both that baby and my friend.

I honestly feel like this miracle baby in my belly is blessing me more than with another child.  It has healed my heart.  After all of these years that healing is an absolute miracle in itself.