I have decided it is time to start asking my loyal blog readers for some mothering advice. I have read lots of books on how to take care if an infant and I have discovered that sometimes life experiences of real people are sometimes more valuable than experts in a book.
1. Elisabeth is fussy every night between 8 - 11 p.m. and most of the time we can not console her. What have you done for the daily fussy time of your children that has worked?
2. Elisabeth LOVES to be held. So much that I struggle to get anything done during the day and to get her to take a good long nap so I can nap. As soon as we put her down in her cradle, swing, etc., she is up again, crying to be picked up. I have a nice Moby wrap that she likes...only some of the time. How soon should I let her learn to self-soothe or cry it out? Any advice to get her to be content being put down?
Thanks in advance for your advice. I am willing to try new things to keep her healthy and happy.
Stream of consciousness from a MN-born, SoCal-living, infertility-surviving, beagle-loving, baby-snuggling, Latter-day Saint believing, patent lawyer hubbie-adoring, opinion-sharing, goal-making woman.
Is 8-11 pretty much her only fussy time, or is that just when it's the worst? Garrett was fussy most of the day - especially during feeding time - but it got markedly worse in the evenings. We chalked it up to a case of baby colic, but learned when he was 3.5 months and we were finally able to get him in for his 2 month check-up that what we thought was colic was actually acid reflux. Apparently a lot of colic cases are actually reflux cases. The good news is, is that if that's what keeping her fussy, it can be solved with an antacid. Reflux is often diagnosed by extreme fussiness, especially in the evenings and at mealtimes (Garrett struggled to eat, and was always arching his back in pain), often accompanied by more spitting up than is normal. Garrett, though, had silent reflux, and didn't spit up much. Anyway, I'm not saying this is what your problem is, but I am saying that it's worth talking to your doctor about. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Kristi,
ReplyDeleteGuess what? Both my girls have had reflux too, and didn't spit up much just as Lindsay said. Sam's was a lot worse; she would be up for an hour or hour and a half after feeding during the night and was fussy a lot during the day too. Night time, between about the same hours as Elisabeth, were the worst. But, when we got her on some medication, it helped a ton. It was like night and day! Aubrey on the other hand, has always been great during the day, but her reflux just seemed to bother her at night. Once we got her on some meds, her sleeping improved also. However, with both of them, we had to do what I called 'sleep school' because they both had gotten so used to waking up at night. Once the reflux was taken care of, I felt more comfortable letting them fuss a bit. They were older though, around 4-5 months. I have an awesome book that has helped me, and still helps me with any sleep troubles I have had. I highly recommend it! It is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He gives you advice and step by step instructions for sleep problems for every age of your infant/child. He's not too extreme and has great testimonials from other parents to help you through the tough times. It wasn't easy but very worth it. Both my girls go to sleep on their own and have learned to go back to sleep if they wake up during the night (well, we're still working on Aubrey a bit). I hope that helps, sorry for the long response. Feel free to call if you need to just vent or have any other questions. It just helped me to talk to someone who had been through it before. Love you, and hope you get a good nap soon:)
Schloopy
Not a mother, so feel free to completely disregard my opinion.
ReplyDeletea) most babies are over-tired, despite the best efforts of parents to put them down at the best time.
b) Many many many many many newborns (including ours) get fussy about that time of the evening. Knowing that alone makes a huge difference--it means that it's not something you're doing wrong.
c) it will go away. it may take a month, it may take a week. but it will go away.
d) my wife was/is convinced that our son's struggle with that got better when we started giving him a routine warm bath every night at the same time. i don't know.
also, for every book you read that says to do one thing, you can find another 3 books telling you to do the exact opposite. just find out what works best for you and go with it. don't discount your own gut feeling.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Beverly had acid reflux...The doctor told me that some babies just spit up a lot. I had no idea about acid reflux with my first and she barfed on everything.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I think that slings/wraps are great. I'm glad that you have one. Jane had crying jags, and Travis would just put her in the baby carrier and go on a walk so that I didn't have to listen. Sometimes babies just need to cry. It's good exercise. Perhaps Lance can try the same? It's a nice time of night to go for a walk. And crying can really make nursing/not sleeping mommies *really, really* anxious.
As to sleeping, I honestly am a big fan of tummy sleeping. Jane would not sleep on her back or her side or in an Amby bed for more than 20 minutes. She'd fuss, poop and get mad...every time. Finally I put her on her tummy, and she slept! It was terrifying and miraculous! Then I read the Wikipedia article on SIDS and found that it was and is more of a problem outside the US and that there are almost always other related factors (smokers, fluffy bedding, illness...). Check it out for yourself. Our generation were all tummy sleepers and the rest of my kids will be too.
I'm a huge fan of the book "Babywise," and I'm all for teaching babies to self-soothe--the payoff is so worth the effort/time is takes. Most babies are fussy in the evening, so it might just be a stage you have to wait out. Good luck--you'll do great!!!
ReplyDeletehi kristi,
ReplyDeletei'm definitely no expert as i still struggle with number 3. i just thought i'd comment because all 3 of my kids have had reflux also....but didn't spit up. with henry i started recognizing the signs around 6 weeks. zantac was a huge relief and i also laid off of dairy products while i was nursing.
i also like the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child". biggest mistake i made with alex is that i put him to bed too late. my theory was that if he didn't go to bed until 9 or 10 then he would sleep later in the morning. my cousin actually told me to read that book after i had ruby. she had all of her kids sleeping through the night by 8 weeks!
with ruby and henry i have put them to bed earlier-like 6 pm. some people think i'm crazy, but ruby would sleep from 6pm-7am once she was done nursing in the night and got over her reflux. i also learned to let my kids soothe themselves to sleep. with alex i would pat him or sing for so long before he would fall asleep.
good luck! you're amazing and just know that it doesn't last forever. also don't hesitate to call one of the 4th ward girls if you need a nap. they are so great about things like that. i have learned there is NO shame in asking for help when you need it.
I second or third most of things said. My most favorite (and that is an understatement)is "Healthy Sleep Habits. . .". I also like a few things from from "Babywise" I firmly believe also that kids are not getting enough sleep. Aytime my kids would cry I would try other things than sleeping and it was always sleeping. I don't think my babies were ever awake at 8pm. I hope you find some answers in the books but if you need more help just call me. I have helped lots of friends and family through sleep issues.
ReplyDeleteJust another note- I am not for everything in Babywise, I just like the daily sleep- eat- play- sleep- eat- play. I don't agree with the last poster that you should feed on demand that much. Sometimes call fot it by why feed when they are not hungry?? I really think eating after sleeping is better than eating to sleep. My babies were high on the weight scale with this way of nursing. I was a little more free with Simeon but kept the schedule from Babywise and feel like the real problem is lack of sleep not hunger.
ReplyDelete