Calm Before the Storm

I have been feeling so incredibly blessed and joyful lately.  I love my dear sweet babies - the all-boy one who just learned how to crawl and growl like a bear and the talkative princess who keeps me in stitches.  I love my kind husband who does things like create playlists for me to listen to when I run.  I love my calling at church to work with the children.  I love that summer is here and we can spend every day at the pool if we wanted to.  I love that I have figured out how to stay on top of my laundry.  I love the stage of life I am in with little ones at home.

I think a lot of this calmness and joy comes from the fact that we have been diligently reading the Book of Mormon every day with our family after receiving a challenge from our Bishop of our ward (congregation) to do so.  The spirit in our home is undeniable.  And honestly, I recognize we have been blessed beyond measure in our lives.  God is good.

However, there is a part of me that wonders what trials are waiting for us in the wings.  I mean after all we have gone through in the nine years we have been married, (death of parent, illness, infertility, loss of babies, stressful school situations, being far away from family) it seems only logical that we will have to face more hard things and that this bliss is only temporarily.

Like a calm before the storm.  

I'll take it, for however it lasts.  Praying that my memory of this time will be a sweet reminder to sustain me in whatever comes our way in the future.

Terrific Threes

copyright Beatta Bosworth

The other day Elisabeth bounded into the kitchen, donned in her Tinkerbell costume with a matching green elastic in her ponytail on top of her head (that she insisted I put in so she could look just like Tinkerbell), wearing her glass slippers and said "Mama?  We need to go to the store and buy some pixie dust.  I need it to fly."

That is our 3 year old.  Imaginative, energetic, and girl, inside and out.

Here are some interesting facts about our Elibear who turned three in May:

• Princess Conesiour - Disney had her in mind when they decided on their marketing plan.  She knows all of the princesses, their attire and can sing each of their signature songs on cue.  Funny thing is she has only ever watched Tangled, Princess and the Frog & Cinderella.  All of the other princess movies scare her (including Tangled AND Princess and the Frog)
• Tiara - she never leaves home without it.  Because a real princess can't go into public without her crown, right?
• Safety First - She is very concerned with our safety.  She gets upset if we turn on the car and we don't have our seat belts on.  I can't count the number of times I have heard "Mama!  Put on your seat belt!"
• Sense of Humor - Whether purposely or not, she is quite hilarious.
• Make New Friends - She makes friends wherever we go.  In fact, whenever we go to the park and there are kids there she will exclaim "Mama!  My friends are here!"  
• Fearless. . .at least about some things. - On Memorial Day, she decided she wanted to jump off the diving board even though she can't swim.  And she has been begging her Dad to take her on the roller coaster.
• Stubborn as all get out.  No other explanation needed on that one.
• Loves to sing, read and dance.  Anywhere, anytime.  

As difficult as it has been to raise this emotional, intense little girl, her kisses, hugs, excitement for life, and love she shows to her "Sofi Dog" and "Baby Prince" (a.k.a. her baby brother) make it all worth it.  Besides, she reminds me a lot of myself.  

Love our little girl!

copyright Beatta Bosworth

For your video viewing pleasure:

Daddy's Girl

Elisabeth gave a new meaning to the phrase "Daddy's Girl" tonight.  Our bedtime conversation went something like this:

EB:  Mama, I want to call Papa and ask him someting.
Me:  Ok.
(We call Lance who is still working.)
Me:  Papa, Elisabeth has something she wants to ask you.
EB:  Papa, I want you to come marry me?
L:  What did she just say?
Me:  She just proposed.
(Both adults laugh.)
L:  Honey, that is sweet but you can't marry me.  I already married your Mama.
EB:  Nooooo!
Me:  Papa, tell her who your princess is.
L:  Mama is my princess.
EB:  Hysterical crying, sobbing, jumping up and down for at least 20 minutes.


When Lance got home two hours after her bed time, she called for him to come to her as soon as she heard the front door open.  After he tucked her in she said with much force and confidence:

"Papa, Mama isn't your princess.  I am your princess."

 I am thrilled our little girl looks up to her father and loves him this much. (Even if it means she scolds me anytime she senses I am not so happy with him.)  I hope this strong bond will still be there (though changed from wanting to marry him to just loving him as her father) when she is a teenager, a young adult and even when she is grown, married to her own prince and has children of her own.

Seven at Seven

Seven things to describe our Bubby Bunny on his first Golden birthday.

1.  Happy Baby 1...2...3.  I really do believe Carsten is the happiest baby in the world.  One of my relatives said on our trip to MN that happiness just spills out from him at all times.  I agree.  He didn't cry once on the four flights we had to take from CA to MN and back again.  He also lights up like a beacon whenever he sees his daddy, mommy, sister or puppy.  I live for his snaggle-tooth grin.

2.  Toothless no more - He has four five toofers in his mouth.  Makes eating his favorite food, sweet potato puffs, so much easier.

Carsten got his top two teeth before his bottom. 

3.  Good posture - In the last month, he has mastered the art of sitting for long periods of times with quite good posture, I might add.

Easter morning with his first Easter basket

4.  Milk does a body good - He is not a big fan of food though he tolerates rice cereal, sweet potatoes and bananas.  Nothing green, though.  So odd to have a picky eater after his foodie sister!

Yuck.  Seriously Mom?

5.  Sensitive Soul - Our little tender heart cries when his sister cries or when someone raises their voice.  Melts my heart.

Loving his Great Uncle Donald in MN. 

6.  Hands off - In the past month or so he has done everything but keep his hands off things.  He grabs anything in sight and it goes right into his mouth.  His favorite toy these days?  His shoes, socks and feet.  As long as he has toes to put into his mouth, he is a happy camper.

Why eat food when you can grab and chew on the spoon instead?

7.  First words - I think parents tend to "hear" things when it comes to determining their babies first words but I swear Carsten has "Hi" "Mama" and "Dada" down pat.   When Lance came over to greet him this morning he said what sounded like "Hi" and then proceeded to say "Dadadadada."  Also, when the nurses tried to weigh him and vaccinate him at his 6 month check-up, his cry sounded just like "Mama."  Also, when Lance goes to get him if he cries at night, he will say "Mamamama" Anyway about it, he has found his voice and exercises it quite loudly at times.

Look at those ears. And expression.  This was his first bath in a "big" bath tub at Auntie Rain's in MN.

I recently read the following one of my favorite bloggers said someone told her after she had her first born son:

“Your girls are yours forever but you’ll cherish that boy.” 

Right now I can't imagine cherishing another baby as much as I do this my mild-mannered, happy-go-lucky, snuggly boy.

The Top Five

The top five things we have observed about our Little Man now that he is five plus months old:

1.  He frequently sucks in his lower lip and puffs out his cheeks like a chipmunk.  

Carsten with his chipmunk impression.

2.  He is so incredibly laid back.  He rolled from his back to his front and his front to his back when he was four months old and has only done it once or twice more since.  He is strong enough to do it.  It is almost as though he is saying to me "Meh.  I am fine where I am mom.  No pressure, please."

Wearing Ellie Bear's glasses the same way she wears them.

3.  He wakes up and sings to his doggy mobile.  Sometimes he is awake for a hour before we even realize it.

Watching early morning cartoons with the cousins who came to visit.

4.  He L-O-V-E-S our dog.  More than any member in our family (much to his mother's chagrin.)  He flaps his little arms and legs and squeals with delight when that mangy mutt comes near him.  Sofi apparently senses this love as she has started to sleep in his room during the night and takes her morning nap with him next to his crib.

Sofi snoozing next to her buddy.  Not the best picture but you get the picture.

5.  He is still the easiest, sweetest baby that ever walked the planet.  This kid is going to get whatever he wants - because his Mama can NOT resist his blue eyes, sweet laugh and cuddles.  Help me Rhonda!

The picture that causes my uterus want a dozen more of these.

A Running Fool

I used to think anyone who enjoyed running was a crazy fool. Why would anyone want to engage in such a monotonous sport that was so hard on your knees and feet and was basically torture?

Then my SIL talked me into preparing to run a 5K with her. I thought - why not? Could add it to my "bucket list" of 2011.

I reluctantly started to run. (Or I should say slog.) Sometimes I hated it. Occasionally I found it enjoyable. More often than not I tolerated it. I was never ever able to make the whole 5K distance without walking.

Me before my first race.

And then the day of the 5K arrived. I thought of every excuse of how I could get out of it, especially since it meant I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. But I went and ran my first. I RAN all 3.6 miles without stopping once. And the sense of accomplishment along with the adrenaline rush of the race is addicting.

So I am adding "jogging" to my list of interests as I prepare for my next 5K. I love when we sometimes surprise ourselves in life!

Living the Dream - An Announcement

In response to the polite phone conversation starter "So what are you up to?" my friend Amber, a busy SAHM with four beyond-cute kids who are active in (you name it), who also is in charge of primary(our ward's children's ministry) and does (who knows what else), replied "You know - living the dream." And even though we laughed, I really think she means it.

This is something that has been on my mind lately.  Living the dream.  What is my dream?  I am a mother of two who is constantly TOO busy with a husband who also works hard. I do contract instructional design work and get paid a not-at-all-too-shabby amount to do it.  I can set my hours, can work from home and do what I enjoy.  Perfect job, right?  And we don't even have to pay childcare because I watch my friend's little boy twice a week and she watches my kids twice a week.

Yet I am unable to give 100% to anything.  And that frustrates me.  I have wrestled with what to do about this for a few months.

Thus, I have decided to stop working and just be a stay at home mom for the time being once I finish out my contracts.  Maybe someday when my kids are older and the perfect job opportunity arises, I will reconsider.  But right now, they need their Mama at home and my husband needs someone to support him at this time in his life like he supported me while I went through school.  And, as much as I do not LOVE doing domestic chores, they have to get done, and there is something that can be said when a house has order and my baby doesn't have to live with dog hair in his diaper.  I worked way too hard to get my babies here in our family to not be there for as much of their lives as I can and provide a home for them that gives them a place to thrive.

Besides,  I want to have the time to do the other things that matter most to me - like helping others who need help, serving the Primary kids at church, attending the temple on a regular basis, staying in touch with my family, spending time with my friends, writing to my blog, scrapbooking, smocking, running, cooking healthy meals, etc.

I am grateful I earned my Master's and had the opportunity to work for the many years I did.  It was the right decision at the time. Now, this is the right time to scale back and hunker down in my nest and take care of my baby birds.

My friend Becky says to me quite often that "You can have it all, just not all right now."   And something about that saying solidifies the peaceful assurance that I am making the right decision.